More talking to dead people

1231269_10200710485987667_1804821725_n

Dear Mom and Dad,
I started this as a way to “talk” to Jim after he passed on, but realized I could reach out to you two as well. Writing to dead people may become a habit.

Yesterday I started a visualization/meditation to create money in my life. I decided to visualize what I would be doing if I suddenly found myself with crazy money. Like 100s-of-millions crazy money. Oh, I set up trusts so Jim’s grown boys would never want, and of course a nice trust for Jenny and her new husband. Then I wanted to sit down with Jenn and Charles to let them know my finances had changed, and tell them we could get a house for them, and Jenn could quit working. Suddenly, I was driving all across the country to connect with people who had played a role in my life, for better or worse. I was thanking each one. Or forgiving. Or both – depending on the circumstances. I must have been lost in that revelry for a good 20 minutes before I opened my eyes.

On opening my eyes, I giggled at where my visualization for cash flow had wandered off to. Then I realized, I do not need millions of dollars to do exactly what I had visualized. Of course, I cannot exactly take off and drive across the country. But I can thank people, and (gulp) even forgive.

So today, I’m living like a millionaire – writing out thank you cards to people, some of whom I’ve not even seen for decades. It feels so wonderful to do this.

You are both on my list. Clearly I cannot mail a card to you, so here I am – blogging to the dead. I know that you were not raised to be openly demonstrative of love. You had four kids, little money, and did your very best for us. I want you to know that it never even occurred to me until much, much later in life that we were poor. It was just life to me as a kid to only get 1 pair of shoes a year and 1 new dress for school. Of course, as the years went by, you were doing better financially.

I know you loved me and showed me in the only ways you knew how. When I was fully grown and used to stop by lunch to “check in” with you each day, I made sure I hugged you when I came in. At first, I think it made you both a little uncomfortable, not being used to that. But I am so glad I hugged you both, every chance I got to do that without pushing you too far out of your comfort zone. Thank you for being the best parents you could possibly be, and for loving me.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s